Monday, January 27, 2014

A little about me.

Before I really start jumping into finding my way back to the spiritual path I used to be on, I first want to share a little about myself.

I grew up in a Presbyterian church. I don't know that I had a super close relationship with God, but I did talk to him often and I hope that I went down the path he had laid out for me. I know not all decisions in my teen years were the best or the right ones, but I made them and I know that they were put in my path for a reason.

After becoming pregnant at the young age of 19 and getting married a short time after finding out I feel like I lost my way a bit. I was confused to say the least. I thought that I was in love and that that was my fairy tale romance, but I soon found out that was not the case at all. After dealing with a boy who wasn't ready to become a man, a husband or a father and dealing with some abuse along the way that relationship ended just 2 short years after it began. I wasn't attending church and I wasn't talking to God at all. I didn't know why he would let someone treat someone else they way I had been treated. I was still young, hurt and confused.

I shied away from church and was just focused on raising my little girl and trying to make things work for her and I since we were on our own. I then met my now husband online while he was deployed. I realize now, even though we met in an unconventional way, that God put each of is in each other's lives for a reason. My husband is not a believer, never has been and I doubt he ever will become one, but I do believe we were brought together to make each other better and to help each other through the most trying time in our lives.

Now, as we are coming up on our 3rd anniversary we are dealing with something I never though I would ever have to deal with in my life. Infertility. It is a nasty word. It's something I hate thinking about because all I want to do is give my husband a child. Yes some might say be happy you have a child already. I do have a child, a beautiful 6 year old girl who never ceases to amaze me, but I want to give my husband a child to call his own, one that will call him Daddy and look upto him the way Makenzie looks upto him now. Now in this time in my life I need God more than ever to show me that everything is going to be ok and we will be blessed with a child when he thinks the time is right.

Now after more than 7 years of being away from a church I have found one that I truly believe is the perfect fit after just attending one time. The way I was welcomed and treated by the members there was truly amazing. The sermon that was delivered really hit home for me and at that moment I knew that God had brought me there on that particular day, for that particular sermon to let me know that that is the place I am supposed to be. I was so moved. I can honestly say I have never experienced anything like that before in my life. I have never ever been so close to tears while singing praises to the Lord.

I can not wait to start my journey again to finding Christ and to find my way back to the faith I used to have.

I can't say I will post a lot on here but I know when I feel moved I will be posting. I am hoping at least once a week. If I can help at least one person find their way back as well I will feel like I have accomplished something truly awesome!

God Bless!